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| Posted By: Nick Dagger |
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The Tivoli, Wimborne, Dorset Sat 23 Oct 04
If there was "Wim-borne every minute" the world would be a better place. What a delightful village, town, hamlet? ....oh Minster it is. In good old rock n roll style the discussion in the bus on our final approach was, "What is a Minster"?
Various bullshitting takes place whenever a mastermind topic like this comes up and the entire party are vying for top clever dick. The truth is nobody really knew but it prompted us to find out. We still don't know what the status of Wimborne is but a Minster is basically a large Church - a sort of Tribute Cathedral. I leave it up to you Wimbornians to decide whether you want to see yourself as a Tribute City or a sleepy village.
It was our fourth visit on Saturday and despite the howling wind and rain, we were full of cheer. The Tivoli is a brilliant Art Deco theatre that is successfully and affectionately run by an imaginative Manager and team of dedicated volunteers. It sold out weeks before and we were looking forward to another Dorset rave.
Unless you've been in a band that has toured the "Cream Tea" belt, you won't understand just how wild these Hardyians can be. A big fan of the aforementioned author I see nothing but rosy cheeked Tessies and square jawed Mayors in our audience. Those rolling hills breed a handsome populace and walking round the town Charlie and I marvelled at the local beauties.
An eatery called The Cloisters served up luverly grub and I'd challenge any big scoffer not to feel stuffed after their giant tea cake. The size of a cow pat and drenched in butter it should be devoured with the utmost respect.
I haven't been so sconed for ages
Good day,
Nick x
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| Posted By: Nick Dagger |
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The Capitol-Horsham 21/10/04
It used to be called The Horsham Arts Theatre but now since its renovation it's become The Capitol.
We last played there in May 99 before the face- lift. Like all face-lifts there is a down side as well as a plus. They invariably create a freshness and smooth look but they tend to take away a certain craggy character. Like the legions of Hollywood stars who have their facial expressions neutralised by botox, a building without its wrinkly brick-work stares but says nothing about itself.
The band and the crew all arriving separately drove past the place without a second glance. Apparently even local inhabitants on their first visit drive past it with alarming regularity. It doesn't help that it is situated on a road with quite a number of new hi-tech buildings and looks like it could be any ol' (new!) office block.
The problem with most architects is that they rarely consider the spiritual element and are obsessed with what looks good small-scale and on the client's desk. As kids they never got to be in the school play, or win at kiss-chase, but were blinding at Lego.
In a poll recently Lego came top as the most popular toy in the last 50 years, and there's the problem. The Danes who invented this model , and you only have to see the blight of 60's architecture that exists all over the country to see what I'm on about.
What do you think got the Swede's blood up to encourage them to set up their "Wendy House" furniture stores. Let me remind you that the Vikings love wooden houses and therefore know nothing of working in bricks.
I wonder who came up with the name, The Capitol. I bet it was the architect's mate who works in some financial capacity. It reeks of the philosophical thought of a complete banker.
Lots of glass in a building is very seductive but if it's a theatre and looks like the immigration office in Croydon, it's failed.
The gig though most definitely didn't. Inside the auditorium you're back in a great venue.
We loved it and want to go back.
Luv
Nick x
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| Posted By: Nick Dagger |
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Camberley Arts Theatre
Let me tell you brothers and sisters, Camberley Rocks! We love you.
I knew nothing about Camberley until we first played there 3 years ago. I knew it was next door to Ascot (very posh) but I had no concept of what kind of town it was.
Like so many places now, the shopping bit is just a collection of the so tiresome household names, and making any fair judgement is like trying to make a cultural statement about Bluewater or Brent Cross.
The calling card we're left with, on any place we visit, is the area that surrounds these pedestrianised "Stepford Malls" and the people we come into contact with.
Camberely is stuck in a very nice part of Merrie England and is easy to get to and from. 10 marks there then. The audience, theatre crew and people I met in the coffee bar up the road were lovely.
Our second half was healthily populated with raucous dames and geezers giving it their Saturday best. Having suffered from a pair of lobotomised killjoys last week, (see messages) it was with great relief that those struck with the "Rock Fever" weren't bullied back to their seats.
My only negative for the whole evening was the upstairs dressing room shower. It was shite!
I've never been a fan of those cubicles with a power cord and switch with what seems like a reasonable choice of pressure and temperature.
Hot means scalding and a dribble. Cold means an Arctic gush. Medium is just that bit you escape to after third degree burns and frost bite. It never stays medium for very long. It's a sort of tease setting, probably invented by jealous plumbers to upset the middle class.
The theatre shower though couldn't even offer up this usual "Nice Cop Bad Cop" experience. It just piddled a bit and from the twenty possible holes that water should've sprayed, I counted 4.
It was like watching someone with a prostrate problem trying to have a piss.
Ta Ta
Nick x
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| Posted By: Nick Dagger |
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The Metropole Birmingham
We only ever play the Metropole for corporate events. About a 1/4 of all our gigs can be described as corporate and many of them are award ceremony balls. Last night was the turn of PC World to turn their regional managers into potential Oscar winning luvvies for the evening. Paul Ross was the after dinner speaker and MC and he proved to be a valuable mate to have around. We've met Paul on a number of occasions and earlier this year we were guests on his Saturday morning radio programme.
All performers tend to find corporate gigs rather daunting. Your audience are often well oiled on company free booze and unlike regualr gigs they haven't necessarily come there to see you.
Normally bloke heavy and the air thick with testosterone, the atmosphere is like playing to a bunch of inmates. Often reluctant to dance at the beginning they can then go to the opposite extreme of going ape. I watched with an Attenborough eye as groups of dinner suited chimps attempted to flirty dance with the few females that were there.
We were welcomed vocally enough as we took to the stage and dear old Paul gave us huge whooping appreciation during the empty dance floor stage of the gig. The empty floor can last up to a half an hour before the chap-apes, or chapes, summon up their new found belch-courage to pull a bird and dance.
It's like a damn burst it starts with a trickle and pretty soon turns into a flood. Women dance because they just want to, whereas men dance because they're pissed or gay. Either way it makes for a scary night.
At all corporates I've seen this dance floor phenomena and I'm sure even Sir David has no natural explanation for it. You get the straightest, most shy, unassuming person suddenly turning into a Bantam Capon with a carrot up its arse. Wings flapping, breast out and neck jerking with the rest of the Ark forming a circle to clap him on. Is that boring Ken from the accounts department? Usually yes. A man whose unspent seed has covered him in facial eruptions is now exploding.
In the Metropole a few years back after a Christmas function I actually had to tread over a copulating couple in the corridor. It was probably another Ken from accounts high on his award and reaping the benefits of his new found fame. That's why they do it. These big corporates want everyone to feel like a star.
Next time you're in PC World look out for the shy guy with the achne and don't be put off by the dinner down his blue shirt. It hides a slow fuse.
Ta ta
Nick
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| Posted By: Nick Dagger |
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Harrow Arts Centre
From the air I imagine Harrow to look like something on a slide under a microscope. It must rank as one of the places boasting the highest number of roundabouts anywhere in Britiain. Driving to the gig yesterday I felt like the pilot of that minature submarine that is injected into the bloodstream of somebody's body. (Innerspace - Nicky Popkiss)( shut yer cocky tits Popkiss )
From where I live I should have been able to get there in 30mins. It actually took twice that long and not because of traffic either. The town planners must have had the inspiration for this design by taking it in turns to stamp on a jam doughnut.
In the 60's, planners seemed obsessed with the idea of squeezing the centre out onto the perimeter. The nett result is navigation chaos. It's particularly annoying that there's still a load of signs for the Town Centre which one would normally use as a point of reference.
I found myself circling South Harrow, North Harrow, Harrow Weald but not a bloody hint of where the Harrow Arts Centre is.
I finally found it nestled among another slide of roundabouts next to a super store on the outskirts. Cheers Council pillocks.
The Arts centre is a grade 2 listed building and architecturally very pleasing to the eye. For a gig however, there are a couple of set backs. More of a lecture hall than a theatre with a high wooden roof our sound man was presented with a bit of an acoustic challenge.
The worst aspect of the Grade 2 limitations meant that there were no washing and toilet facilities in the dressing rooms. I love a good shower pre and post show and so I was forced into buying a plastic bucket in the adjoining superstore.I emphasise this was for washing only.
Quite what the couple who wanted me to sign their poster must have thought when they stopped me in the corridor with a full bucket, I can only imagine. Even Her Majesty's guests don't have to slop out any more.
I absolutely loved the gig though. The management and staff showed great spirit for the evening even to the extent that they donned their most garish retro garb.
All age groups seemed to be there and we had strutters at the front competing for the campest turkey dance. A scene not witnessed since our last gig in Stoke on Trent.
I got lost going home but after such a great night I'm not going to let a squashed doughnut ruin my evening.
Luv
Nick x
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| Posted By: Nick Dagger |
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The Wilde Theatre, Bracknell, Berkshire
My first words on this entry are dedicated to a geographical fact. Bracknell is in Berkshire not Surrey. My faux pas at last night's gig turned a healthily uproarious audience into the kind of baying mob last witnessed in the Gladiator movie. Never in 14 years of touring have I met such jealously protected countyism. It dawned on me why such an act would cause the blood to boil when I remembered that Berkshire has the unique "Royal" bit stuck on the front - Surrey doesn't! To Berkshire inhabitants or should I say Berks (sorry far too tempting not to use), I must have appeared as some uppity neo-Roundhead, intent on spreading republicanism via rock gigs.
How ridiculous. As if a bunch of blokes in brightly coloured clothes and donning wigs could embark on such a task. Roundheads took great pride in their dour grey appearance and sort to cut all the frills from life - even circumcision (or was that just a school yard nickname for "snipees"?).
No I think on closer inspection you will note that it was the Cavaliers who favoured long curly syrups and louche clobber. I rest my case Bracknell. It was a mere slip of the tongue -a part of the body I can normally boast brings pleasure, not disdain.
For those of you who have read other news on the site, you will know that Justin who played the parts of Bryon Jones, Mick Tailor-Made, and Ronnie B. Good left in August. His departure was perfectly affable. So much so that he was in the audience watching his successor. An event he described as frightenly mystical. A truly out of body experience.
I like the Wilde Theatre but I'd love to meet the architect who came up with the idea of building a brick shed onto such a beautiful old house. To the camp taste of Oscar it would be like wearing a dinner jacket with a pair of gardening trousers. Oscar would be really wild (ouch).
The important thing though is that it Royally rocked.
Luv
Nick Dagger x
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| Posted By: Nicky Popkiss |
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Notes from the back of the stage
Well here we go again. The tour has commenced, there's nowhere to hide. And what a start.
I can't really add much more to what our virulent leader has already inscribed but I will say this.
Tewkesbury likes its shoe shops.
For a town that size there were an inordinant amount of shops catering for every type of foot fetish.
And just when you think it can't get any shoe-ier....there's a shoe and trainer sale in the town hall!
Excellent stuff and the crowd were amazing for the gig. An almost impeccable participation from them, allowing people to see what's going on in the first half and then rushing forward to show them how it should be done!
I can only hope that other venues will behave in a similar way.
ta ta
Nicky
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| Posted By: Nick Dagger |
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Tewkesbury Gloucestershire
Tewkesbury has a Cathedral, one of our favourite cafes (J's Cafe in the high St), great second hand book shops but a bloody awful choice of supermarkets. Yeah, there's the big Stainsburys(misspell intentional) out on the perimeter but High St. food shopping just don't happen. We learned as a band some years back that man cannot live by takeway alone. In our year 2000 tour, we ate Chinese nosh every bloody night. We hadn't realised that we'd aquired an MSG addiction. It brought it home to me when one morning my eyes couldn't open because they were glued together (an apparent symptom of MSG intolerance). A visit to the doctor also told me my blood pressure was well up.
That's why now we opt for buying our own provisions for a dressing room supper. Nutritionists would be proud of most of our purchases. There's a lot of salad flying aboutand lean cold cuts, seafood, oily fish etc.
The dearth of a good supermarket tho' will never spoil a gig.The Roses theatre is a small but great venue for any artist (I believe it was the venue where Eric Morcambe died). The house crew are excellent and the backstage shower has good pressure.
We got a great welcome on our entrance to the stage and the seated first half became a very unseated 2nd half. The perfect match of sit and watch and get up and rock. A Snicker of a gig. Creamy choc outer layer slowly licked, and then the crunchy hard bit in the middle aggresively chomped.
The home entertaiment in the bus consisted of reminiscences of the last night in the Robin dressing room conducted in a Geordie accent.
You will never understand a band's ability to create very comedic scenarios out of characters we meet on the road. To the lead singer of the Choir Boys (Rock Band - not the Church). You're a star and thankyou for trying to poach Charlie Mott for your band and giving me some excellent advice on how not to lose my voice. Steam and a good Coke dealer. The skill you employed in not spilling your pint as you spilled out your advice was admirable.
Ta "front row" Tewkesbury fans. You're every bit as important as the rest of our growing family.
Luv Nick
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| Posted By: Nick Dagger |
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The Robin in Bilston
Thankyou beautiful people of the West Midlands for another three days of sheer joy. I don't know where exactly you come from but all I know is you turn up in your droves to a little place called Bilston and rock yer socks off in the Robin R'n B club. At first glance one can be forgiven for questioning any possible vibe that could ensue from such a building in such a location but it bloody well does. It's the closest you can get to a 1960's London Marquee club atmosphere. Such is its popularity that it will almost double its capacity next year from 400 to 750. Southerners and Northerners who like live music should give this place a whirl. It's well worth the drive.
When we arrive in the afternoons for our soundcheck there's always a sarnie and a cup of tea waiting and even the smell of dettol and stale smoke 'n' ale has a sort of affection about it.
I don't mind my post show wash being performed like a stork with one leg stuck in the tiniest of sinks while I'm being asked to sign a poster. Buddhists often strike such poses whilst in meditation. In fact it's actually helped me make the right choice of pizza topping.
The Robin audiences are the most generous you could ever wish to play to and what's more they give hope to any one over 40.
Luv Nick
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| Posted By: Nicky Popkiss |
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Get Yer Doo Dahs out!
Well it's that time again when band members have to be rounded up (in some cases contacted via a medium) and thrown into a tour bus ready for another tour of the adoring public.
Yes we're off once more around the country ready to do battle with surly Roadside Cafe waitresses and the food they claim is "Fresh Today". To war against unhelpful road signs which point the wrong way up a one way street and send you on a convoluted merry-go-round around the town you're playing in.
It's nice to get a feel for the area that you're playing in, don't get me wrong, but when you've got roadies who've been set up for two hours and are waiting for you to figure out the directions the "helpful" theatre manager's given you, it can be a little angst inducing.
Still it's a nice one this time around with some good venues to play in and some that we've not done for a while. Hopefully we'll see you at a venue near you.
Ta ta
Nicky
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