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| Posted By: Nick Dagger |
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Corby, The Willow Arts Centre Saturday November 20th 04
After a fitful night in the Peterborough Travel Inn we set off at midday for Corby. It had been absolutely freezing in Spalding and although not quite Monkey balls weather this morning, it was still taters.
We've played Corby twice in the past, once in the Nags Head in August 96 and then the Festival Hall in Spring '98. Both gigs were very different and I didn't remember too much about the town. I knew the history of the place and that it had been a major steel town heavily populated by Scots who'd been brought down to run the mill. With the closure of the works in 81 the usual problems arose that such total upheaval brings.
It's the buildings. They're grey, decaying corpses. I visted East Germany in the early seventies and that was a country that specialised in souless architecture but this was Northamptonshire. To my mind the greatest sin you can perpetrate on any civilisation is dull erection. We found the Willow Arts Centre. A square leperous building standing majestically opposite the precinct.
As we were led through endless corridors, Des the manager profusely apologised for the lack of heating. The boilers were not working. It was the second coldest day of the year and with 7 hours till show time, it looked pretty grim. Des, bless him had found a large dressing room and with two blow heaters was doing his best to make life comfortable for us. They'd freshly mopped the floor and combined with the hot air from the fan heaters, we had our very own weather system.
I was surprised to be told that this was indeed the Festival Hall but I hadn't recognised it. Two years ago the Council closed the venue and it was due for demolition but local protests prevented its demise and it has been taken over and run by volunteers. With lots of enthusiasm and private finance, the venue has been temporarily reprieved.
We had a substantial lunch in the Theatre's lounge bar. Certainly very big on portions, the takers of the, "all day breakfast" , soon found themselves staring at a heart attack on a plate. There was very little to see in the precinct other than the usual household names and so the rest of the day was spent in our temperate dressing room.
The main concert hall was freezing but alive with busy helpers building the stage, setting up lights, labelling seats. Eventually the hall heating arrived in the form of two Tristar engines. These giant calor gas heaters can heat a hall very quickly but they can also send the inhabitants into a stupor. So that was what we faced. Asthma in the dressing room, pneumonia in the corridors and gas poisoning on stage.
Actually there was one boiler working and it managed to get on stage and plant her rancid gob onto mine. It was worse than any "Bush Tucker Trial."
" I'm not a celebrity get [me] out of here!"
The audience was rowdy, a large number of whom went absolutely potty. It may have been the Calor Gas but we all came off stage with a slightly strange grin.
Pizza was munched and beer drunk in the lounge bar after the show and we finally set off for home at about 12:30.
Bye Bye Corby, Corby Bye Bye....
Nick Dagger (from Geezer to wheezer)
Atchooo
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| Posted By: Nick Dagger |
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Spalding, Friday November 19th 04
Where is Spalding? It's one of those places where [the] name has a familiar ring about it but nobody seems to know where it is. Well, it's in the middle of Lincolnshire. A sort of urban oasis surrounded by miles and miles of flat green stuff.
The show was to take place in "THE SOUTH HOLLAND CENTRE". A name that intrigued me. There's always a reason for a name and my immediate thought was that the flatness of the area resembled the Dutch planes. Or was the area full of dykes?
I never actually found out but once we arrived and saw the canal running down the side of the town I assumed that like "Little Venice" in London, anywhere with a canal has to have an alter ego. Bruges in Belgium for instance has its own uniquue qualties but the Flemish tourist office still have to describe it as Belgium's Venice. It won't be long before Birmingham's canal district starts brandishing a Venetian badge.
Canals always make a place a bit special. That is until you catch the honk they so often chuck up. Back stage it really was very high. There had obviously been complaints from other visiting luvvies judging by the graveyard of worn out, plug-in, whiff improvers. It must have been a battle that was never won. There were none for our visit. I sympathise though. I too have had a damp problem (in my office- not my underpants) and plug-ins don't do it. They just give you a bloody headache and the stink, at least because it's natural, becomes the preferred option.
We encountered the usual English tradition of eateries assuming that nobody wants to eat after 2pm and ended up having lunch next door in the Town's major department store. The grub was actually very nice and the ladies who served us were delightful.
We had the same problem when it came to finding somewhere for tea and a cake. All the obvious choices were closed by 6 but luckily we found a place called, BARISTA. What a treat. They actually looked pleased to see and serve us. Very fairly priced and we all loved our sweetmeat choices.
The gig was very enjoyable indeed. We like the challenge of visiting unchartered territory and the audience were fab. The last treat of the day was a great curry feast in "INDUS".
Thankyou guys for keeping the place open for us. So many places won't do that. The food was exceptional and I would suggest anybody living within a 30 mile radius to make the trip. It's worth it.
See ya
Nick
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| Posted By: Nick Dagger |
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Burgess Hill, Martletts Hall, 12&13th Nov 04
It's the closest we play to Brighton at the moment and although about 10 miles away I like to think I can still smell the salt 'n' seaweed in the air. Let's face it, there's nothing like the smell of weed of any sort.
We really like the gig here. It felt a little weird at first, playing in a hall next to a library but once you get over that it's rock 'n' roll all the way. Yeah there we were getting down on the downs. Feeling higher than the very close Ditchling Beacon. I'm always reminded when I come to this part of Sussex of the pain I've endured in climbing the Ditchling Beacon on a bloody push bike.
For several years running I used to take part in the annual London to Brighton bike ride and the scheming bastards who devised the route deliberately put the Beacon on the map right at the end of the course. Mind you once you've reached the summit it's down hill all the way. A bit like Keef's health.
We were greatly rewarded for our repeated pilgrimage to Burgess Hill by a plentiful supply of adoring females at the front. There were a couple of blokes in adulation mode as well but I guess they'd shuffled up from Brighton's Pink zone. It's okay guys, we take your appreciation of our camp revue as a compliment.
Getting to the gig on the Saturday was a real challenge as the M25 was shut for a large section of what we would normally use to get there. I opted for a tortuous route through Wimbledon and Croydon and got there in two hours but poor ol' Nicky Popkiss well....... From other diary entries you may have realised just how hopeless the poor puppy brain is at getting from A to B.
He must be in posession of a special set of cells that create an addiction to being lost. Scientists have indeed told us of many rogue brain conditions that see some people craving the ingestion of vaste amounts of chocolate ( the entire world female population for instance ) but Popkiss seems to be programmed with an opposite polarity. The poor chap can't tell his South from his North.
I shudder to think what will be happening under the mistletoe in his house this Christmas. Soixante neuf with your neighbour's wife wouldn't go down too well. Or rather it would be going dow........ Best leave it there.
Thankyou Burgess Hillbillies. You were absolutlely marvellous. I glowed all the way home and it wasn't just the scalding shower.
Miss you already
Nick Dagger xx
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| Posted By: Nicky Popkiss |
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Notes From The Back Of The Stage
Well the last few gigs have gone very well indeed I feel. Apart from my chronic inability to find the gig venue (See our ever impartial and benign leader's view on this below).
Yes alright I can't find my arse with two hands in my back pockets. At least I know how to spell Wyllyotts Centre!
Anyway private squabbles aside I have been noticing a trend recently whereby all we talk about is Showers and Food as if the Wonders of the Towns were merely trivial items in the agenda.
Leamington Spa boasts a House of Frazer in which I was able to buy a very natty beanie hat that actually fits my head. Points to you guys for that.
Ok that doesn't really mark it out as a Wonder unless you know the trials I've had getting one of these things
Salisbury has a fine selection of eateries yes but they're almost always closed by the time we get there! What about the Mighty Henge (Nearby) and the Cathedral.
Ilfracombe has beaches to stroll on, scenery to gawp at and go "Ooh that's nice". Pubs where you can watch your favourite team (Liverpool) play out an insipid 1-1 draw.
Hertford....um...has some Meads.
and Potters Bar has the Potters Barbers (I hope you're ashamed of yourselves).
So there you go. Proof positive there's more to life than showers and food. We haven't even mentioned luggage!
ta ta
Nicky
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| Posted By: Nick Dagger |
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Potters Bar,The Wylotts Centre Sat Nov 6th 04
If anyone reading this can tell me the origin of the name Potters Bar I'd be very interested to know. There are of course many more strangely named places- Middle Wallop for instance but there's something intriguing about a place name that doesn't seem to have an Ancient Britain, Norman or Roman root. Well Potters Bar doesn't seem to have a history at all. It looks like it must have sprung up in the 30's and had loads of 60's quick-build bolted on.
The first time you try to find the Wylotts centre you have the task of finding where Potters Bar starts and ends. From the M25 the sign welcomes you but after that mate you're on yer own.
From what I can gather it's basically two high roads that run parallel to each other but about 1/2 mile apart. Picking the right high road is the challenge. Myself and dear old Bill Hymen sat in a cafe on the corner of the right one and pissed ourselves watching Popkiss and Goode-Tailor-Jones blissfully going in the direction of the wrong one.
We laughed because Popkiss has a problem with navigation skills and I'd bet Bill that we'd see them looking very lost and heading off towards Luton.
The cafe dear reader is a real corker. It's called Barney's and they do a fantastic range of well priced grub. Having eaten there many times before it was with a gladdened heart that I set off from Chiswick (the origin of Chiswick by the way is Cheese-Wick, meaning a village that made a lot of cheese. True! Also the first German bomb in WW2 landed in Chiswick).
Again we wondered whether our turn out would be affected by Fawking firework night but apart from a few seats left it was pretty much sold out. Channel 4 were in to film part of a documentary on a woman with a bright light allergy. They wanted to film her watching us to see how she'd cope. All seemed reasonably clear enough until we realised the woman in question was the wife of one of our regular punters and........she's blind.
This is not a joke it's the truth and I believe it will broadcast in Feb 05.
So keep your eyes peeled and all will be revealed.
Great night in Potters Bar.
See ya
Nick
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| Posted By: Nick Dagger |
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Castle Hall Hertford Nov 5 04
The big question on our lips was, "Are you going to turn up?" Guy Fawkes night can be sticky for gigs. What with all those council organised big fire work displays and a multitude of back garden cordite parties. Well you did and congratulations Hertford, you are voted rowdiest crowd of the Autumn tour. Not for you to sit and clap politely. You like it on your feet and noisy.
Castle Hall is a boomy old room when it's empty and every sound check we do there gives us the same problems but the moment 400 sweaty bodies get in there the nasty overtones disappear.
Most venues insist on a seated audience (mainly because the chairs are fixed- blame Bill Hayley) and it makes you want to perform in a very different way. A standing crowd like to get on to the raucous stuff as early as possible and during songs like Ruby Tuesday the in-tune quality of the audience participation stuff gets a bit terraces-like. I'm not complaining mind. The worst thing for any act is paralysed silence.
It's a nice big stage and the venue crew are brilliant. Never too much trouble seeking out the iron and ironing board, plenty of professional spotlight work.
I was quite hoarse at the end of the gig. That's because I had to compete with you lot.
Not bad shower pressure but must try harder.
Cheers
Nick (Dagger)
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| Posted By: The Band |
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Ilfracombe Sat 30th Oct 04
Got there after a long and winding A361 drive off the M5. The Barnstaple roundabouts add to the spiral experience and I'm glad I didn't try to read the paper during this last leg.
The Landmark theatre in Ilfracombe really lives up to its name. Built like a giant upside flower pot or kiln it sits beautifully right on the sea. The last time we visited in May 03 we had a row with some farty old wanker who was sea fishing and objected to our banging on the loading door. I pointed out that his chosen pastime of fish murder or should I say "poisson-cide" offended me and if he hadn't been wearing bi-focals I'd have shoved his split cane rod up his flaccid arse.
That wasn't the only unpleasant episode to have occurred. Our greatly sourced fish lunch down at the harbour earned the worst tour meal ever. The haddock was very badly off and when pointed out to the thicko' who served us, he could barely offer an apology. It was truly awful and I couldn't believe it's still there 18 months later.
This time our culinery search was far more modest and our dulled expectations were surprisingly surpassed. The full all day English breakfasts and the cheese omelettes hit the spot and thank God the dodgy haddock ghost has been exorcised.
It's a puzzle to me why Ilfracombe looks so shabbby. It's a stunning rocky bay and yet the shops and high street look like they're on their last legs.
I do hope the English coastal revival that seems to be taking place in other parts of the country happens here.
We loved the gig though. It's a great stage for any artist to work and the audience were really with us from the off.
Shower pressure and temperature were the best so far. Can't wait to come back.
Luv
Nick
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| Posted By: Nick Dagger |
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Salisbury City Hall Friday 29/10/04
We arrived about 1.30pm and took a while to find a suitable eatery. In the past we've found it difficult to get a good middle priced bit of scoff. After half an hour we opted for a fish and chip shop with upstairs dining.
This place must have catered mainly for midgets. The sign down stairs proclaimed that a minimum 4 people must sit in the alcoves. I understand that establishments need to maximise their space but this was a joke and we saw several people leave after realising that eating on the tube during rush hour aint nice.
Whilst waitiing for our meals this creature, who can only be described as one of the most gobbish gits I've ever encountered, came in with his toss pot of a mate ( Burberry Cap- say no more ). With two brats in tow this spotty pillock bellowed his drivel down a mobile for the whole period we were in there. He looked and acted like an army reject. This wasn't the most pleasant of lunch times and I was pleased to get out.
The gig was very well received but I felt there was a lot of shy dancers who went home wishing they'd got up and thrown themselves around a bit.
The biggest disappointment though was not finding an Indian restaurant that was willing to stay open for a party of ten for a 11.30 serving. Shame on you. Now that wouldn't be a problem up North. Maybe because it's so grim up there the Curry houses try a bit harder.
Nick
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| Posted By: Nick Dagger |
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Leamington Spa Pavilion 27/10/04
A dull ol' day weather wise and having seen forcasts of gale, storm and tempest I pulled out my trusty parka ( Army surplus ) and set off for our second visit to Royal Leamington Spa.
A place of past glory it still has fine gardens and fountains but why oh why build a theatre that looks like a 60's East Berlin interrogation centre. We see this a lot.
We took lunch in a place called the Sozzled Sausage and a fine choice of sausages they had too. There was very little else but I'm a great believer in specialising. It took far too long to arrive but everyone was pleased with their dish and the mash won first place.
After this stuffing we went our different ways for a spot of retail therapy. I needed a new pair of swimming goggles and suffered the usual cretinous service so common these days. " Can you tell me what the best pair is."
" Aint got a clue mate. "
Still the gig went well after a cautious start and the pressure in the shower was a good effort.
Nick
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| Posted By: Nicky Popkiss |
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Notes from the back of the stage
I didn't get to see much of Horsham.
Not through any lack of interest but because of my inability to actually drive in a straight line.
I actually went from Ealing into Clapham and then down to Horsham. Check that drive out on a map and you'll instantly see what I mean.
This meant that I was over an hour late and with Dagger et al pacing round like expectant fathers when we got there, it was not pleasant I can tell you. Especially as I was also chaperoning Bryon/Mick/Ronnie as well.
The Road filth (a term of endearment for our greatly appreciated crew) had to miss their evening meal so they were less than impressed (Downright bloody angry! - Crew).
After that the gig went off without a hitch and the people gave their all.
As for Wimbourne, it is a gig that we'd looked forward to for a while as the eatery described so eloquently by our virulant leader was the eatery of the tour. So it was with huge expectation that we dumped our luggage and hurled ourselves around to Cloisters. It didn't disappoint!
The meal experience was heightened by the over attentive service of the waitresses. One in particular was always buzzing around our table.
I found out that it wasn't because of our irressitable sexual magnetism but because she was flirting with one of the butchers next door!
Ah well you don't win them all.
The after that a quick browse in the CD shop and we were off to sound check.
Fun fun fun
Nicky
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